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The Raw Truth

Submitted by on July 31, 2016 - 5:32 pm

Life works in mysterious ways. And sometimes it just doesn’t make sense. One thing that I have realized is that eventually it works itself out, and often setbacks actually help you re-evaluate your life, and chart a new course.
I recently had a big setback in my personal life. While I could have allowed it to totally derail me, I didn’t. I’m not going to lie. I did isolate myself, become introspective, cry a lot, sleep and eventually came out of that dark place. Though at this point in time, I cannot yet clearly see the lesson in the event I can take solace in, and give gratitude for, the beauty of the relationship until that point. I say this not to impress you, but to impress upon you that there is often a lesson to be learned, and something to be grateful for.

 

Who knew that my marriage to my “King”, (as the minister referred to him), would end so quickly? Or that he would decide that he was no longer cut out to be married to someone, and required to compromise on things, “for as long as we both shall live”? Not me! Just 4 months after our beautiful wedding in Montego Bay, Jamaica, my husband decided that he no longer wanted to be my life partner.

 

One Friday night, just a few weeks ago, he sat me down and said, “We have to talk”. I was shocked, dumbfounded. No, that’s not true. I was completely blindsided. Actually felt like I was hit by Mack truck. (Didn’t see that coming.) And for the first 3 weeks I went through the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Five stages that I’m sure that I will revisit, again. But something happened after that third week. I just got tired of crying. It was time to stop my personal pity party and decide what I wanted next, what life without my new husband would look like, and that’s what led me to this blog post. While our romance and  wedding were beautiful and like a fantasy, when the dust settled from my husband’s departure I was right back where I actually want to be, which is providing value to YOU!

 

***

 

What truly inspires me most is bringing joy, positivity, inspiration and motivation to you! I hadn’t been doing that for quite some time, and this morning, (while doing my workout), it became very evident that I am most fulfilled, when I am providing value to others.

 

So, please stay connected with me. As much as I love giving to you, I love receiving your support and encouragement. I’m excited to say that starting tomorrow, August 1st, I’ll be doing daily FB Live broadcasts on my Ana Caban Fan Page. Tune in Monday through Friday for your daily dose of inspiration, motivation and positivity, with my La Buena Bites. I can’t wait to connect with you there!

 

 

 

22 Comments»

  • monica woodford says:
    July 31, 2016 at 7:52 pm

    Oh Ana, do feel better as you are such a beautiful soul. God’ s continued grace & blessing in your life. Monica W.

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    Ana Caban says:
    August 1, 2016 at 3:14 am

    Thank you Monica. I know that I will be ok, in time. This experience is part of my journey in life. I trust that the Universe has a plan for me, and this was a part of it.

    In happiness & health,
    Ana

  • LTimberlake says:
    July 31, 2016 at 8:13 pm

    Ana I’m sorry you’re going through this. And I applaud your strength in ‘doing the work’ to pick up and move on. Not long ago you replied personally to me in an email, encouraging me to do just that. I made my work password on the computer a reminder to keep at it. I did it! I moved on to better things and life keeps getting better now. I had you inspiring me daily, even though we have never met. You influenced me greatly, now you know that. Thank you so much!!! I wish you the very best.

  • Profile photo of Ana Caban
    Ana Caban says:
    August 1, 2016 at 3:13 am

    Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m so happy that I was able to inspire you. That is truly what brings me the most joy.

    All the best,
    Ana

  • Penny says:
    July 31, 2016 at 9:08 pm

    Look forward to your posts.

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    Ana Caban says:
    August 1, 2016 at 3:15 am

    Thank you Penny! I appreciate the support.

    Ana

  • Erin Versaggi says:
    August 1, 2016 at 12:52 pm

    Hi Ana. I’m so sorry to hear about all that you’ve gone through. I thought of you recently when I was beating myself up for how long it’s been since I’ve done pilates. I thought of you and my favorite videos of yours that have helped me, as well as attending a few of your classes. You’re so positive, motivating and inspiring! Would love to grab lunch the next time you’re in NY!

  • Profile photo of Ana Caban
    Ana Caban says:
    August 2, 2016 at 3:45 am

    Erin,

    Thank you so much! It’s so nice to see a message from you. I really enjoyed spending time with you, before my half marathon. I’d love to connect the next time that I’m in NYC. And I’m happy to be an inspiration. That is what fills my heart.

    Lots of love,

    Ana

  • teajae says:
    August 1, 2016 at 3:16 pm

    Wow Ana. I wish I could give you the biggest hug right now. My heart is so full for you. We all deal with pain differently. In an 8 months span I got dumped, both patents died suddenly (I’m an only child) and I got fired from work. It was a never ending onslaught of pain. It took me several months to come out of my darkness. I made it out. One thing I gave myself was time to heal. I refused to allow anyone to say oh you should be over this by now. The people that did are no longer apart of my tribe. I took my time reflected and made changes. Take good care of yourself surround yourself with a loving tribe. Keep pushing and fighting I’m so proud of you thank you for sharing. 😚😙😚😙😚

  • Profile photo of Ana Caban
    Ana Caban says:
    August 2, 2016 at 3:43 am

    Thank you Teajae. I’m so sorry for your loss. But you are right. We all grieve in our own way, and at our own pace. Just writing this post was part of my healing process. I could not hold it in any longer. I told my family, and I published this post.

    The pain will pass. And I truly believe that this experience was just part of my journey. I will become stronger, and wiser, from it.

    Thank you, again, for your support.

  • Anna says:
    August 1, 2016 at 7:20 pm

    Hi Ana,
    I am soo sorry to hear that about you and your man. But you know what they say – if the king leaves, the emperor will come. So chin up – you are such a gorgeous woman – you’ll bound to find the right one for you. Maybe see Marisa Peers in the UK- I think she is good – maybe she can help you. Cheers and lots of love and light to you from me!! Anna

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    Ana Caban says:
    August 2, 2016 at 3:41 am

    Thank you Anna. I’d like to think that you are right. The emperor is on his way. Lol. That’s brilliant!!

  • Carol Anne says:
    August 2, 2016 at 5:15 pm

    Ana, you’ve never met me either but I’ve been doing your Pilates DVDs for over 10 years and I got started when my husband left his ring on the table only 3 years after we said ‘I do’. So, I totally get it and my heart is so sad for you! Sometimes life throws us a curve ball – but stay focused on the positive…you have health, family, a beautiful life and people who love and respect you. When you are already the ‘King’ of your own life…who needs another?
    Stay strong!

  • Profile photo of Ana Caban
    Ana Caban says:
    August 2, 2016 at 10:11 pm

    Carol Anne,

    Wow! I’m honored to have been there, in your hour of need. Reading that brought tears to my eyes, because I do believe that my calling is to help people, to inspire, to be a blessing to someone. Thank you.

    I will be ok. Time heals all wounds. I am taking the focus off of me, and putting it on others now. And it feels SO good!!!

    All the best,

    Ana

  • Sandra says:
    August 3, 2016 at 11:54 pm

    Dear Ana,
    In 2004, I found your dvds and discovered not only Pilates, but also a uniquely inspirational instructor who exuded joy and an ebullient spirit. It was your kindness, dedication, and humility that was a large part of the reason I used those dvds for all these many years since. And in those years, I was newly separated, and then out of the blue, had a breast cancer diagnosis. And then recurrent breast cancer again two years later. And major back surgery. Job loss. It was a rough patch. Through it all, your work as an instructor, conveying such a positive spirit, kept me feeling uplifted and in strong during all those years of illness and upheaval…and I was in the best shape ever! All in my lovely old apartment in Pennsylvania. I want to thank you for all your supportive work as an instructor and for being an all-around inspiring woman. I am so very sorry to learn of your recent, painful experiences. I want to believe, however, that somehow that person did you a great favor in the long run, and gave you back your life now, rather than much further down the road. You will come back ten-fold from this crushing time. This, too, shall pass. May God bless you always. Many thanks to you for all that you have done to help others like myself. Take good care.

  • Profile photo of Ana Caban
    Ana Caban says:
    August 23, 2016 at 8:47 pm

    Sandra,

    Thank you so much. I love that I have had a positive impact on your life. That brings me so much joy, as my goal in life is to add value to others, and to inspire others to do the same.

    Your kind words have made my date. Thank you, again.

  • Dima says:
    August 8, 2016 at 1:17 am

    Ana Banana ..

    My sweet, strong and very inspiring friends. I did not see this coming for sure but I know that life has better plan for you. The reason for your tears now might be very soon the reason for your happiness and joy. (from experience)

    You are such a strong beautiful women that I am personally inspired by. Please continue to be and show us all how it done. I love you and will be always here my awesome friend.

    Be yourself .. The strong Ana we all know and continue to shine
    Life goes on move onn .. Smile .. Never look back

    Lots of love ❤️

  • Profile photo of Ana Caban
    Ana Caban says:
    August 23, 2016 at 8:45 pm

    Thank you so much, Dear Dima. I appreciate your support. Love, Ana

  • Willie Goins Jr. says:
    August 9, 2016 at 3:33 pm

    Ana, I have been one of your biggest fan for years. My heart goes out to you and your son, as you have weathered this storm in life. I will continue to pray your strength in God. You are a strong woman in your own QUEENLY way. May your story of trials, testing’s, troubles and triumphs encourage others through this thing call LIFE. Some people missed the blessing(s) of God when He has sent them their way. Be Encourage. Sending well wishes your way. I love you.

  • Profile photo of Ana Caban
    Ana Caban says:
    August 23, 2016 at 8:44 pm

    Thank you so much, Willie. I appreciate your kind words and support.

  • Ronda says:
    September 9, 2016 at 3:05 am

    I’m just catching up on email and saw this. I hope you are doing much better now and was able to have a positive rest of your summer. One thing that I’ve always loved about Pilates is that it is impossible to think about anything else while you are doing it (if you are doing it right!) so I hope that you are giving yourself lots of me time for personal Pilates and those hot yoga classes. And of course, you have your son. The two of you will forge a better path ahead. If you are EVER in DC, ever, ever, ever, I hope I can meet you and give you a big hug in person. Sending positive thoughts to you and will be checking out your live bites on Facebook.xxxooo

  • Profile photo of Ana Caban
    Ana Caban says:
    September 18, 2016 at 9:25 pm

    Ronda,

    Thank you so much for your kind words. You made my day! Yes, each day is better than the last. Vincent and I are doing well and staying positive.

    If I am in DC I promise to send out an announcement. It would be nice to meet you!

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